To answer a couple of comments, no, we are not currently 'playing'. Wish we were, but there are a bunch of little issues that just are not letting it be as enjoyable as it could be. Number one, her libido is pretty low, which I feel is due to her feeling not as attractive as she wants to be. Nothing to do with the hotwife lifestyle, this is just her wanting to lose some weight and feel good about herself. Her ideal weight is about 125-130 for her height, she is about 150. She looks great in my eyes and everyone else's, but she just can not be herself until she loses down to her goal weight. She is currently going to weight watchers as she loves to be accountable each week to have to weigh in, so the program is great for her. Started at 156, now just about 148. Until her libidio is up, nothing sexual is interesting to her, def not going through the work of finding a fuck buddy.
Number 2 reason, I am in the same boat with the weight loss, I have a lot going on at work that affords me very little time at home to excersize and when I do get home, all I want to do is relax and take my mind off of work. But my libido is not low but constantly driving me and making me always think of very naughty things, mostly of her being very very naughty. Luckily I have a few videos of her and her various fuck buddies having fun to watch and go solo to, without those I would be very stir crazy. I constantly see things in each vid that I had not noticed before and it is so awesome every time I do. I don't last. It's a band-aid for sure, but it knocks my libido down for the day so I can get back to concentrating on work and such. Keeps me thinking of her and yet no so much that I am clawing after her when she is not in the mood. I go solo to her at least once a day, twice if I missed the day before. And if something gets me turned on that is not something to do with her, rarely do I end my solo session unless I find a way to put her in the 'scene', then POW, I explode. Even if the scene its self is super hot, great looking pornstars and they seem to really be enjoying things, its hot, but if I pop her into the scene, that does it, I am done.
So that is where we are today, many other little issues, she has brought up a few, but then they seem to go away. Last one I finally got out of her was that she doesn't like the camera there, that she feels like she putting on a show for me. I am taken back by this quite a bit as this must be new as she has always said that she doesn't even know the camera is there after a few minutes of fun. I also have video proof that she doesn't even know what planet she is on most of time once the fucking begins, lol.
But still, I have taken everything she says in to think about and I do think about them. It seems to me that she gets bothered by it if the guy she is with is bothered by it. I have video proof of that exactly happening on the last guy she with. He did not feel 100% comfortable with his face being on film, never told me it was a problem, but you could tell it was. And she seemed to feed off of that. Also, he cut contact with her as a clean break, first one to do that on their end, its always been her that cuts it off. So, she ran many things things through her head on why he did that as she REALLY liked him. She came up with many ideas on why, all or some might have played into it, but probably he just wanted it that way due to a new or ex girlfriend returning to his world. But after that instance, she let me know the camera was an issue for her sometimes. Definitely going to have to think how to be a little more inconspicuous with the camera and def feel out the guy more on this true feelings. I think they want to fuck her so bad that they overlook on how they really feel about the camera. I can work on that.
What many may not know is, I really was not the driving force for her to want to seek out her indulgences outside a relationship. She has had three instances in previous relationships where she had some fun on the side. I knew of 2 of them till recently, the 3rd I just learned about last year which was extremely hot to hear. Also, when we were talking as we got to learn more of each other at the beginning of our relationship there were a few things that happened that also pointed towards her really needing to be fucked when she needed to be fucked. lol. I want to put these things in writing next blog entry so I can think them through.